Wholly *****!!!!, AAAAHHHHH!!! Sand's first fanfic??! |
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Replies(1 - 14)
Dr Strum |
Sep 29 2007, 02:53 AM
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Can Lead the Nation with a Microphone
              
Group: Angels
Posts: 5427
Joined: 23-December 05
From: Seattle
Member No.: 1

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Okay... It's going to be harsh, but it's going to be the truth.
I tried, but I wasn't able to read it fully.
First, you started with an OC that came out fo nowhere and who already had good relations with people on different sides...
Also, I couldn't even guess when in Yggdra Union is this fic... After, during, or before... And then, why is everybody alive...
Also, the text shouldn't all be in bold...
I would suggest to go read some fics and theirs reviews and get an idea of what is considered good and bad.
A good point, at least, is that the length is good.
Frankly, this fic is bad. But I'm sure you can get better. You just need more knowledge and practice of what you're doing.
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Писатель всегда будет в оппозиции к политике, пока сама политика будет в оппозиции к культуре.
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Dr Strum |
Oct 2 2007, 11:38 AM
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Can Lead the Nation with a Microphone
              
Group: Angels
Posts: 5427
Joined: 23-December 05
From: Seattle
Member No.: 1

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Oh yeah....That story doesn't relate to YU actual story, so I make all the guys alive, even the bad guys. This is my first experimental fanfiction, so I know there would be many grammatical mistakes lingering out there.....I wil fix it later because I'm now studying for the exam next week.
Thanks for the tips Megaolix, I will change the font into normal then.... Don't worry, I will tell you all what's the original story after the exam, because I've working out on my second fic, probably the longest I've ever make. Many people confused why all the guy seems nice right? I know this will happen but after the second fiction comes out, you all will know it.
Just think the first fiction as a beta test. Just say any comments whether good or bad to this post, I will answer it AFTER the exam okay, thanks and good day! Roger out....
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Писатель всегда будет в оппозиции к политике, пока сама политика будет в оппозиции к культуре.
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