 Jokes, Post some good ones |
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| Malice no Kokushi |
 Dec 29 2005, 12:14 AM
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#1
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 Lazy Group: Arcs Posts: 10 Joined: 2-July 06 From: Italy Member No.: 156  |
Three guys are stuck on a deserted island. They have no way off until they find a magic lamp. Since the genie grants only three wishes, they each get one wish. The first guy says he wants to go home. So he is sent home. The other says he wants to go with the other guy. So he is sent to join his friend. The last buy starts crying and says "I want my friends back!"
Ten people are stuck on a hanging rope. They soon find out that its gonna snap if one of them does not let go. After all of their bickering, one guy says he will let go of the rope. So he makes a long and touching farewell speech. After he is done everyone claps. A guy is off to buy a bull.He tells his sister thathe will send her a telegram when he gets it. He finds one but when he tries to send a telegram, he is told that the machine is broken and can only send one word telegrams. After a lot of debating, he decides to send the word "comfortable". The telegram dude asks why that word. The boy replies "My sister reads slowly. She will understand." ~~~ <div style="background: rgb(112, 112, 112) none repeat scroll 0%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial; text-align: center;">No future.
マリスは凄まじい破壊力を持っています。</div> |
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| San |
Dec 29 2005, 02:52 AM
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#2
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 Shy  Group: Arcs Posts: 37 Joined: 15-August 07 From: Under a Bridge Member No.: 1637 |
a helicopter with three nationals are in it are going to crash. the three nationals, one Malay, one Chinese and one english man, decided to jump off the helicopter before it crashes. so, they agreed to jump off at the count of three.
"one, two, three!!!" there goes the english man. "yee, er, san!!" there goes the chinese man. "satu....dua....TI-" BOOOOOOM. the helicopter crashes. ~~~  Ok, according to the "How Evil Are You?" quiz, I´m pure evil. According to the FF-Fan quiz, I´m Laguna. According to the "What Pokemon Are You?" quiz I´m a..... BUTTERFREE!? |
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| Kotlol |
Dec 29 2005, 03:12 PM
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#3
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 Shy Group: Arcs Posts: 38 Joined: 22-September 08 Member No.: 1783 |
George Washington, Clinton and Bush are on an airplane. Their plane flew a cross a poor country. Clinton threw a $100 outside the window, face the other two and said, "I saved a family."
After Clinton said that, Bush looked at Washington, then at Clinton before throwing 2 $100 outside the window and declare "I saved 2 family." Washington looked at Clinton, then at Bush. Then he threw Bush out of the window and said, "I save the whole world!" XD ~~~ (Currently trying to make Yggdra Union flashes)
(sorry for the animated sig) |
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| WhiteKnight |
Dec 29 2005, 03:16 PM
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#4
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 *obnoxiousaltcaps* Group: Arcs Posts: 304 Joined: 10-April 07 From: SOMEWHERE NOT UPSTATE NEW YORK Member No.: 1010 |
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD
well.....what other jokes. hmm. well, in america, they dug up a phone line and scientists have declared it hundreds of years old. so they told the whole world "America was using telephone lines hundreds of years ago!!" then in china, they dug up telephone antennaes and scientists have declared it at least 500 years old. so they told the whole world that china had been using satelites 500 years ago. then in Malaysia, they decided to dig to see if they have any telephone lines or antennaes. when they dug and dug and found nothing, they finally declared "Malaysia has been using wireless since time uncounted!!!" okay. that was silly and boring XD ~~~ Yar har ho.
Yo ho har. |
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| Nanashi |
Dec 29 2005, 03:26 PM
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#5
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 Fenrisulfr Group: Arcs Posts: 286 Joined: 5-February 06 From: Millington, TN Member No.: 61 |
Ahahahahahaahah!! Where did you get those Malaysian jokes?
Aaaanyway... Ms. Smith stopped to reprove Johnny for making faces. "Johnny, when I was small, my mother used to tell me that if I made ugly faces, at some moment it would freeze and stay like that". Johnny looked up at her and thoughtfully replied: "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't forewarned." |
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| lightningdude |
Dec 29 2005, 09:58 PM
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#6
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Not-so-peculiarly absent Group: Arcs Posts: 229 Joined: 2-March 06 From: Illinois Member No.: 79 |
Telegram joke makes no sense.
~~~ These broken hearts are left with scars
Because of your lies And all this time, it feels like I'm Chasing shadows at midnight. --Pillar |
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| Flamberge |
Dec 30 2005, 03:54 AM
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#7
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 Lazy Group: Arcs Posts: 13 Joined: 5-August 06 Member No.: 182 |
XD it was kinda funny XD
well........... blondes are so stupid that: they starved to death in a grocery store they call someones handphone for that person's handphone number but thats only two i can remember XD ~~~  |
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| Ethereal Citizen |
Dec 30 2005, 04:58 AM
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#8
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 Lazy Group: Arcs Posts: 15 Joined: 21-May 07 Member No.: 1336 |
I have one thing that's funny. TNT and pudding.
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| Rhiannon |
Dec 30 2005, 05:04 AM
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#9
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 I'm really moved by the chicken bone Group: Gods Posts: 2033 Joined: 23-December 05 From: Minnesotablarg Member No.: 4 |
lol. thats a splat.
~~~  |
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| FlameSpark |
Dec 30 2005, 01:00 PM
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#10
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 Talkative Group: Arcs Posts: 140 Joined: 5-April 07 From: Wandering aimlessly... Member No.: 978 |
Ahh, the dumb blonde joke. I remember there's one that goes something like...
Blondes are so stupid that they put make up on their forehead when you told them to make up their mind. ~~~  |
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| Rosetta |
Dec 30 2005, 01:32 PM
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#11
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 Admiral Group: Flunkies Posts: 299 Joined: 23-December 05 From: Space Dreadnought "Nonna" Member No.: 3 |
A blonde and a brunette jump of a bridge. Who hits the ground first?
The brunette. The blond has to ask for directions. I know a ton of these jokes. I know a few dead baby jokes as well. ~~~ Au.
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| blue grim angel |
Dec 30 2005, 03:00 PM
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#12
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 Casual Chatter Group: Arcs Posts: 55 Joined: 28-September 06 From: Either here, or somewhere else. Member No.: 233 |
i'd rather not hear them.....
well, lets see..... what other jokes :\ well, i forgot most of my jokes XD well, lets seeee............. nope. got nothing on me. except my pants ._. ~~~ Rose: Hey Ein, want a can of Red Bull?
Ein: Sure! Rose: Too bad, Ledah drank it. Ein: ... |
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| zie |
Dec 30 2005, 03:31 PM
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#13
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Lazy Group: Arcs Posts: 1 Joined: 5-June 10 Member No.: 2062 |
Blond jokes, or dead baby jokes?
Oh, here is a joke. A doctor, a lawyer, and an egineer are to be sentenced to death by being beheaded. There is not much time so there is only one chance at killing each of them. If it doesn't work they are set free. Doctor goes up. They ask, "Any last words?" He replies, "No." They try and fail. Laywer goes up. They ask, "Any last words?" He replies, "No." They try and fail. Engineer goes up. They ask, "Any last words?" He replies, "I can fix that..." |
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| Ryu2 |
Dec 30 2005, 04:54 PM
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#14
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 Shy Group: Arcs Posts: 29 Joined: 5-December 06 Member No.: 326 |
don't get it ._.
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| Crazycolorz5 |
Dec 31 2005, 04:46 AM
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#15
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Lazy Group: Arcs Posts: 12 Joined: 14-February 12 Member No.: 2664 |
That actually got a pretty good chuckle outta me.
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