Niflheim Advent, My first...oh joy.. Options

[Raijinili]

This is my first foray into fanfics...well, writing them anyway.

As for the story itself, there are things you should know;
1)Both Cierra and Serene are dead, and were not brought back to life by Ursula(sorry)
2)Ths is just the first few paragraphs of Chapter 1, the whole thing will be on fanfiction.net in a few days

Tell me what you think. I'll take any kind of criticism


Niflheim Advent a continuation of Riviera the Promised Land

Chapter 1
Return to Elendia




<Ein?..Ein you must wake up...please wake up..> "Huh? Wha? Who's there?" Ein asked rather sluggishly.
"Where am I?" <It's me Ein, Ursula...I am speaking to you directly into your thoughts and dreams> said Ursula in
a quiet, faint voice. Ein looked around to seem himself floating in a seemingly endless blue void with letters, words
and unfamilar markings passing by him, then he noticed a blurry shape above him. He realized it was Ursula. "Ursula,
why did you bring me here?...Where is here?" he asked in a panic. <Calm down...Ein, I will not be living much longer..
Because Seth is dead, I will also cease to exist very soon...I want to thank you for saving Riviera...you have done us
all a great deed, you and your companions...but, i fear all is still not well.> "What do you mean? Is Hector still alive?"
Ein was becoming increasingly worried. "Wait. You're going to die?! But..but who's going to protect Riviera? You can't
die!" <My death cannot be prevented...but I do sense an even greater evil now then Hector or Seth...> She said, her
voice gradually getting fainter. "How is that possible? Before we defeated Hector he said he had made sure that no one
would be able to surpass his power." Ein questioned. <I am not certain....but....I do know that the only thing.....capable
of thwarting this new threat....is you...and your fr-frien-ds.> Her voice was now starting to crack. "Ursula? What's
going on? Your voice is starting to break up." Ein watched in horror as the image of Ursula started to disipate
"Ursula?! Ursula?!! Don't go! I still have questions!!" <D-don't worry....we w-w-will speak a-again...> He saw the blue
void turn black with darkness and the hovering text melt into nothingness. He started to scream as he saw images
flash by in an instant although it seemed like an eternity. "Is this it? Am I going to die?" He felt sharp pains dig into his
back where his wings used to be. "This pain, what is this sensation?......No. NO! I will not die here! I made a promise!
And I intend to keep it!!" As he said that, the darkness was turned into white shimmering light and was engulfed
in it. "URSULA!!!!"


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Ein found himself awake on the floor of Fia's room. "What was that pain?" He asked himself as he rubbed his shoulders."And what did Ursula say right before that blinding light?...Come to Heaven's Gate. But wait, we saw most of Heaven's Gate fall apart. The only part of it still intact was the Gate itself. Well, I still have to go regardless of its destruction." He then noticed there was a teddy bear beside him. "Where did this come-....Thanks Lina."he whispered realizing the young archer girl had given it to him as he slept. He repeated about Ursula's words. " My companions...my friends... I don't deserve to have any friends!" he cried out in a remorseful tone. "Not after that...not after what happened at the Maze...." He remembered back to the horrific events that took place at the Maze of Shadows.

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"I intend to destroy Riviera and Asgard and build a world in my image! And it will take more than a pitiful grim angel and a few sprites to stop me from achieving my plans!!" "Hector, your ambitions are insane! Is this the will of the gods?" Ein asked impetuously. “Gods?! Gods?! If the gods were foolish enough to sacrifice their own existance to create you pathetic creatures whose only purpose in life is to engage in combat against demons and such, then they don't deserve to be called gods. More like overpowered insects. I will be the only one true deity, and I will bring death to those who try to keep me from my plans!” Hector replied voraciously. Ein increased his grip on Einherjar. “Well, if that is the case, then it is my duty as a Grim Angel to stop you.” The holy sword started to shine. Hector started towards the center of the room.“I still need more souls to summon her.”
Ein felt a chill run down his spine. He turned to see that Malice had both Serene and Cierra in her grasp. “Here. Hector, sacrifice me as well as these two! Now before it is too late!!” she shouted with a rabid look on her face. “NO! Serene, Cierra!! MALICE! Stop!!” Ein cried. “As you wish, angel.” Hector responded with an evil smirk on his lips.

“With the knowledge of the Magi...ETHER BURST!!”

Ein watched in agony as he saw Serene and Cierra were hit by Hector's blast. “Ein...I'm glad we got to meet each other...I only regret not being able to avenge my family...” coughed Serene crying, covered in scratches and burns. “It was the happiest time of my life...the time i shared
with you, Ein...” Cierra mumbled as blood trickled down from her lips. “Cierra...Serene...don't...don't die, please! I need you!!” Ein yelled, terrified. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

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“I couldn't save them...why?” Ein was in anguish over his hesitation to save his friends. “Dammit!! Why?! I was stronger than Malice! I shouldn't have let her...I shouldn't...” he sobbed. He felt the tears bleed down his face. “It just isn't fair!” Just as soon as he said that, he felt a small hand on his shoulder. “ Ein, are you alright? I saw you crying and just wanted to know if I could help in anyway.” Coco...you're so sweet “Yes, I was crying. Would you like to know why? I'll tell you if you can keep it to yourself” Ein said, quickly drying his tears. “Well in that case, you'd better not. I'm not very good at keeping secrets.” Coco said, dissapointed. But Ein decided to tell her anyway. “I was just thinking about the quest to save Riviera...and the people I was unable to save from death on it.” He sighed with remorse. “You know it's ironic, I murdered countless demons in the name of the gods, but when my friends lives were on the line...I was unable to act to save them. And now there's nothing that is going to bring them back...It just makes me feel like crying sometimes.” There were tears in his eyes again. “Oh, I'm sorry. If i had known...i wouldn't have asked. It's just-”

“YYYYEEEAAAHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOO!!”

Their conversation was interrupted by a large, deafening scream. “Oh no! Lina!!” Ein shouted in a worried manner. He grabbed Einherjar and took off through the door. “I'm sorry Coco! Tell me when I get back, okay?” He shouted as he ran towards the Undine Springs. “Sure thing Ein!!” she yelled back.

“Aww crap...we just beat Hector, and now I have to deal with more demons. Great...” he murmered to himself sarcastically. “Hang on Lina!! I'm coming!!”

This post has been edited by Angel Rzul: May 19 2006, 09:49 PM

[Raijinili]

Unreferenced dialogue go on MULTIPLE lines.

[Raijinili]

It needs a bit of a, errr, grammar check... It's interesting, but kinda hard to understand...

[Raijinili]

And by grammar check, you mean what?

[Raijinili]

Yes, I am still writing this. I just haven't written anything in over a month because of finals.

Anyway, since it's too late put up a poll, I am taking requests to see what kind of pairing I should I put in it. It was originally supposed to be EinxLina, but a lot of you find her annoying. So just post what pairing I should put in it, and I'll tally it.

It will really help :>

This post has been edited by Angel Rzul: Jun 10 2006, 02:36 AM

[Raijinili]

You should write what you want, not what other people want.

[Raijinili]

But it's more fun this way.

[Raijinili]

Writing what people wants, that's what I do sometimes. When I'm out of ideas, that is~ X3

But there are times when you have to ignore the readers and pull the reigns. It's your story, not theirs.

[Raijinili]

This is what I intended from the begining.

[Raijinili]

???


That was cool

[Raijinili]

Thanks.

I've been writing for the past two months and I'm still only half done.

[Raijinili]

I finally got the first chapter uploaded. It's pretty short, but it leads up to whole lot of new things. The next chapters will be submitted periodically as I get a chance. Anyway:

NA: Ch.1 Elendia Blues

This post has been edited by Rzul: Jul 15 2006, 04:39 PM