Okay... It's going to be harsh, but it's going to be the truth.
I tried, but I wasn't able to read it fully.
First, you started with an OC that came out fo nowhere and who already had good relations with people on different sides...
Also, I couldn't even guess when in Yggdra Union is this fic... After, during, or before... And then, why is everybody alive...
Also, the text shouldn't all be in bold...
I would suggest to go read some fics and theirs reviews and get an idea of what is considered good and bad.
A good point, at least, is that the length is good.
Frankly, this fic is bad. But I'm sure you can get better. You just need more knowledge and practice of what you're doing.
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