I need to leave for a while.
Basically my physical and mental health has eroded for the past few days. I'm extremely sleepy all day (I once slept 6 hours at night (1 more than usual), had to take a nap of 45 minutes right at 10 in the morning again, slept another hour in the early afternoon and still felt horribly tired), my entire body hurts all the time, and my mind is following suit and I'm slowly going insane.
Today I had my French exam and I performed pretty poorly, of course partially due to a lack of preparation but primarily due to the fact that I sat there absent-mindedly and completely out of it. In retaliation, once I had left the room a simply frightening and mad laughter burst out. Then I scratched my face so hard it's bloody now, punched my own head a couple of times, and afterwards when I called my mother to fetch me from school like usual I did so with a most cheerful voice and from there on carried a broad, creepy smile on my face. I switched between laughing and... whatever else that was a few times, and eventually my craziness finally made way for a natural sadness, ending in my crying.
Obviously something is wrong with me here. Very wrong. I don't know what the cause of my recent disturbances is; perhaps I'm living unhealthily and should eat and sleep more, my whole mentality is flawed to the point where it's breaking me down, or it's just an infection messing with me or whatever. Anyway, until I've found and fixed the problem (although it's most likely that it's my obsessive behaviour and constant, unhealthy fixation on productivity and perfection) I have decided that I need to slow down in a lot of ways and thus I shall stay away from a couple of forums and activities for a while.
I may or may not sporadically visit the channel, but probably not much. Bye. :(
This post has been edited by P.P.A.: Dec 10 2009, 09:08 PM
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