Philomena Cunk and Barry Shitpeas Options

[Raijinili]

On "Dolphin - Spy in the Pod"
"The thing is, it was really magical, fascinating, with all this incredible footage of dolphins jumping in the air, and you're like, 'That's amazing,' y'know? And then they're jumping in the air again and you're still amazed, but... not as much. And then they jump and spin at the same time, and you're like, 'That's clever. That is clever.' And then they jump and spin again and you're like, 'Do something else.' But they don't. They just keep jumping and spinning and jumping and spinning, and just landing back in the sea. And they don't stop doing it. It's all they do. Fucking dolphins. Fuck 'em. And fuck everyone who likes them."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SG2flREQ7g

On "Breaking Bad"
"There was this program called Broken Bad, sort of like a chemistry program, but with acting in it, to keep the science interesting."
"You had to watch it, because everyone was watching it. So, if you weren't watching it, people who were watching it kept saying, 'Are you watching it?' And you'd have to say, 'No, I'm not watching it.' But you'd think, 'I should be watching it.' So then you start watching it, and you're like, 'Why am I watching this?' Because for a chemistry show, it was really sad."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F1zbXVVYTw

On "Musketeers"
"There was loads of swordfighting in it, and swordfights are strange because, although they sort of look exciting, they never actually are? Like, when you think about what a swordfight is, you should be on the edge of your seat because, it's like all sharp things. Like once my mate Paul was slicing a pear at a festival with his pen knife, and it was just unbearably tense to watch, because he was really drunk, and sort of cutting it in the hand he was holding it in, and I could hardly stand to watch that. But with swordfights, even though swords are bigger than pen knives, and they really wave 'em around, it's like a dance routine or a sort of metal squabble, so there's never this sort of same sense of danger there was with Paul and the pear."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxnusGcAqNY

On "Harlem Shake"
"There were loads of people doing it in offices. And at first you're like, 'Okay, yeah that's really funny.' Y'know? But then after a while, you start thinking, 'Oh, the economy's sinking? How exactly is this supposed to help?' It's all well and good waving your arms around with a funny hat on. By the end of the day you got a job to do. We all have. So pull your weight. Stop fucking dancing and get back to work you selfish Harlem Shake bastards."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSRXb2SesfE

Philomena Cunk's Moments of Wonder: Winston Churchill and World War 2
"The first question is, 'Who or what is Churchill.' The answer is, 'Who.'"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJf5wDGEiug