Some classics:
"Heavily medicated for your safety."
"You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because your hair is on fire."
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now." (This shirt kinda fails though because it doesn't know the difference between schizo and MPD.)
"If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you."
My friend's boyfriend (who I've known since third grade) acquired this last year. It suits him perfectly:
"Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it."
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