regruBgniK
Mar 20 2006, 12:38 AM
I'm destroying this it's horrible.
valkan
Mar 20 2006, 01:07 AM
Good, but they weren't really close in the game...
Spelling could use some work, but still good.
Megaolix
Mar 20 2006, 02:33 AM
Is it complete? I feel like it ended in the middle of the story...
This is good, but it lacks something... I can't put my finger on it...
Swifty-chan
Mar 20 2006, 12:43 PM
... Another yuri? ><'
Well, perhaps because I was speed reading, but when I first saw the lines 'Serene is dead', I thought the woman saw Serene's corpse. But that was the line that halted me to read properly.
I'll be expecting the next chappie~
regruBgniK
Mar 20 2006, 10:13 PM
| QUOTE (Megaolix @ Mar 20 2006, 02:33 AM) |
Is it complete? I feel like it ended in the middle of the story...
This is good, but it lacks something... I can't put my finger on it... |
XD
Yes, I think it's missing something too, like an ending.
And talent. XD I'll write more soon. Yuri <3
~regruBgniK
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