Lacrima Castle
HelpSearchMembersCalendar

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

> Ashton gets drunk, becomes legend
Leyviur
post Apr 21 2007, 04:34 PM
Post #1


Just Some Guy
*******

Group: Gods
Posts: 576
Joined: 24-December 05
From: Ground Zero
Member No.: 10



I hosted an event yesterday, and as a reward me and my colleagues were treated to a meal afterwards. The food sucked, but the alcohol was cheap. To the normal student, this would be a disappointment. To Ashton Liu, this was an excuse to get fucked off drunk at the expense of my school and not get in trouble for it. Thus I was all too happy to indulge. Of course, I was supposed to help teach an English class the day after, and I knew I couldn't do so if I happened to get a hangover from my rampant alcoholic tendencies. But this was a once-in-a-year chance for me, so I threw all caution and temperament to the wind.

11:00 PM: Only five people are here. I drink some pepsi.

11:05 PM: Some colleagues show, but not enough to start my drinking challenge.

11:10 PM: Nobody else has shown up. I grow slightly impatient.

11:20 PM: Every table but mine is filled. The beer is delivered. Considering we need to wait for our colleague, this does not amuse me.

11:30 PM: My colleague shows up and I pop open my first bottle of beer. My first of many.

11:40 PM: I've had one glass of beer and I feel fine. Forgetting that one glass has little to no effect on the human body, I take it this means I am invincible.

11:41 PM: I run around challenging everybody who is willing to drink.

11:45 PM: I've gone through two bottles in 4 minutes and I feel fine. This must mean I am ready for more.

11:51 PM: I have beaten everyone else. I have drank four bottles, which nobody else can top. The crowd is in awe. In my drunken stupor I run around hugging everyone I see. And I do mean everyone. COlleagues, people I don't know, the waiters, EVERYONE.

11:53 PM: My Godhood ends in two minutes. Someone else has drank four and a half bottles of beer. This is a threat to my manhood.

11:55 PM: I reclaim my Godhood. I drink another bottle of beer and a shot of vodka-coke.

12:00 AM: My friend bets that I cannot beat him in drinking. "FUCK YOU," I scream, "NOBODY OUTDRINKS ASHTON. I WILL DRINK DOUBLE WHATEVER YOU HAVE."

12:01 AM: As if on cue, we are each provided with two shots of vodka.

12:02 AM: I have finished my two shots. My friend is still on his first.

12:03 AM: "WHAT NOW BITCH?! I THOUGHT YOU COULD OUT DRINK ME?!"

12:04 AM: My friend finishes his second vodka shot.

12:05 AM: "THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!" I order another two.

12:10 AM: I have finished my two vodka shots. My friend has passed out before he can finish his third. I am God. I am also sick. Very very sick. THe room is spinning like whoaaaa.

12:11 AM: More alcohol. I think it's tequila. Whatever the fuck. I grab it and down it. The room starts spinning even more.

12:12 AM: I lose track of what I am doing as Batshit Insane Drunk Ashton steps into the limelight and sober, very aware of his surroundings Ashton is kicked out of the driver's seat.

7:08 AM: I wake up in my room. Somehow I made it back here. Unfortunately the carnival seems to be in town and have converted my room into one of their rides. The spinning is uncontrollable. Somewhere in the distance I hear an IM being sent to me on my computer. I scream at my computer, "Shut the fuck up, I'm too dizzy to talk to you." The computer responds by making another IM noise.

7:10 AM: The phone rings. I reach out and try to find it. However, since the phone is nowhere near my bed, I obviously cannot reach it. Fuck it, I think, let the answering machine take care of it.

7:11 AM: The phone stops ringing.

7:12 AM: I remember I have no answering machine.

7:13 AM: My COMPUTER starts ringing. I throw my pillow at my desk, and miss my computer. I do, however, knock over the Saber figure sitting beside it. "That's what you get," I sneer, "For being in such a fucking suck ass anime."

7:14 AM: I go back to sleep.

4:10 PM: I wake up. My class started 10 minutes ago. Fuck. I halfheartedly get up, throw on some clothes, and leave.

4:13 PM: I am greeted by my ex girlfriend, who I have not seen in three months. "Still drunk?" She asks. I grunt in response.

4:15 PM: I realize she was not at the party. Who told her I was drunk? I deem this point unimportant and go back to more important things.

4:20 PM: I arrive at the class I am slated to teach. My teaching assistant tells me that I shouldn't arrive to class drunk. I don't get the joke until three hours later.

6:10 PM: My class is over and as I am heading out the door, I bump into the Vice Dean of my department. I greet her, and we chat about the class I'm teaching, etc. As I am about to leave, she parts with "So, you're over your hangover, I presume?" What the fuck.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

Posts in this topic
Leyviur   Ashton gets drunk, becomes legend   Apr 21 2007, 04:34 PM
WhiteKnight   Reading this made my day and killed my lungs. Anot...   Apr 21 2007, 04:45 PM
P.P.A.   You're teacher? >_>   Apr 21 2007, 04:58 PM
Rhiannon   A teacher, PPA. A teacher.   Apr 21 2007, 04:59 PM
Sauce XIV   Full of win. Your drunken stupors are always so fu...   Apr 21 2007, 05:03 PM
Raijinili   To the normal student, this would be a disappointm...   Apr 24 2007, 01:48 AM
fensti   Nice. Pity I'm never gonna drink. >_>   Apr 25 2007, 02:56 AM
chrishawke   I had a friend who encouraged me to drink. I could...   Apr 25 2007, 04:52 AM
aerozero   I wonder what a class would be like with Ash teach...   Apr 25 2007, 05:19 AM
Chaos Seraph   Nobel Prize worthy.   Apr 25 2007, 05:22 AM
FlameSpark   I second that Nobel Prize request!   Apr 25 2007, 07:54 AM
lilcases   That made my day.   May 5 2007, 01:53 AM
Leyviur   UPDATE: My drunken stupor has had unforeseen cons...   May 5 2007, 12:33 PM
Swifty-chan   UPDATE: My drunken stupor has had unforeseen con...   May 11 2007, 06:46 AM
Tyros Arcainix   Ash. You. Are. Fucking. Amazing. <3 xD Best d...   Sep 30 2007, 05:13 AM
WhiteKnight   Oh Ash, do you EVER cease to amuse us? By the way...   May 5 2007, 01:41 PM
Leyviur   You don't want sex? What kind of man are you?   May 5 2007, 01:53 PM
WhiteKnight   You don't want sex? What kind of man are you...   May 5 2007, 03:05 PM
SyphonVectorman   I completely LOL'd after the reading the first...   May 5 2007, 02:09 PM
Leyviur   Birth Control Pills AND Condoms. It's not dif...   May 5 2007, 03:55 PM
WhiteKnight   :( you don't pick this up living in the ghett...   May 5 2007, 04:00 PM
Leyviur   Fuck Carlos Menstealia.   May 5 2007, 04:25 PM
aerozero   Wow, just wow, you became a legend, got a girlfrie...   May 5 2007, 05:03 PM
WhiteKnight   Aerozero, that is the best idea I've ever hear...   May 5 2007, 06:00 PM
P.P.A.   Actually I don't want to have sex either (or t...   May 5 2007, 08:55 PM
aerozero   Looking at Ash's first post again, I can see a...   May 5 2007, 10:02 PM
Lord Rasler   Ash, your drunk adventures have put a light on the...   May 5 2007, 11:12 PM
WhiteKnight   Rasler, you hit the mark exactly. Plus, I don...   May 6 2007, 05:38 AM
aerozero   Plus, I don't like to care for anyone besides ...   May 6 2007, 06:51 AM
Dr Sturm   You're fourteen. You're way to fucking you...   May 6 2007, 05:43 AM
Lord Rasler   Agreed>_>   May 8 2007, 11:59 PM
Sauce XIV   Men who don't want sex are amoeba-men. Or asex...   May 9 2007, 01:52 AM
Chaos Seraph   I doubt the term "men" really applies to...   May 9 2007, 01:59 AM
Lord Rasler   I doubt the term "men" really applies t...   May 10 2007, 11:00 PM
Chaos Seraph   Obviously not. Most males here, including myself,...   May 10 2007, 11:26 PM
Lord Rasler   Obviously not. Well ok>_> I was kinda be...   May 10 2007, 11:30 PM
Chaos Seraph   Sticky thread necromancy.   Sep 30 2007, 08:44 AM
P.P.A.   Session Start (Lacrima Castle:#lcn): Fri Apr 20 20...   Sep 13 2008, 03:06 PM
Enzd   So, why didn't you post that the day it happen...   Sep 13 2008, 06:33 PM
P.P.A.   I'm actually surprised I didn't. Or it was...   Sep 13 2008, 08:51 PM


Reply to this topicStart new topic
3 User(s) are reading this topic (3 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 28th March 2024 - 03:07 PM