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Lacrima Castle _ Others _ Ashton gets drunk, becomes legend
Posted by: Leyviur Apr 21 2007, 04:34 PM
I hosted an event yesterday, and as a reward me and my colleagues were treated to a meal afterwards. The food sucked, but the alcohol was cheap. To the normal student, this would be a disappointment. To Ashton Liu, this was an excuse to get fucked off drunk at the expense of my school and not get in trouble for it. Thus I was all too happy to indulge. Of course, I was supposed to help teach an English class the day after, and I knew I couldn't do so if I happened to get a hangover from my rampant alcoholic tendencies. But this was a once-in-a-year chance for me, so I threw all caution and temperament to the wind.
11:00 PM: Only five people are here. I drink some pepsi.
11:05 PM: Some colleagues show, but not enough to start my drinking challenge.
11:10 PM: Nobody else has shown up. I grow slightly impatient.
11:20 PM: Every table but mine is filled. The beer is delivered. Considering we need to wait for our colleague, this does not amuse me.
11:30 PM: My colleague shows up and I pop open my first bottle of beer. My first of many.
11:40 PM: I've had one glass of beer and I feel fine. Forgetting that one glass has little to no effect on the human body, I take it this means I am invincible.
11:41 PM: I run around challenging everybody who is willing to drink.
11:45 PM: I've gone through two bottles in 4 minutes and I feel fine. This must mean I am ready for more.
11:51 PM: I have beaten everyone else. I have drank four bottles, which nobody else can top. The crowd is in awe. In my drunken stupor I run around hugging everyone I see. And I do mean everyone. COlleagues, people I don't know, the waiters, EVERYONE.
11:53 PM: My Godhood ends in two minutes. Someone else has drank four and a half bottles of beer. This is a threat to my manhood.
11:55 PM: I reclaim my Godhood. I drink another bottle of beer and a shot of vodka-coke.
12:00 AM: My friend bets that I cannot beat him in drinking. "FUCK YOU," I scream, "NOBODY OUTDRINKS ASHTON. I WILL DRINK DOUBLE WHATEVER YOU HAVE."
12:01 AM: As if on cue, we are each provided with two shots of vodka.
12:02 AM: I have finished my two shots. My friend is still on his first.
12:03 AM: "WHAT NOW BITCH?! I THOUGHT YOU COULD OUT DRINK ME?!"
12:04 AM: My friend finishes his second vodka shot.
12:05 AM: "THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!" I order another two.
12:10 AM: I have finished my two vodka shots. My friend has passed out before he can finish his third. I am God. I am also sick. Very very sick. THe room is spinning like whoaaaa.
12:11 AM: More alcohol. I think it's tequila. Whatever the fuck. I grab it and down it. The room starts spinning even more.
12:12 AM: I lose track of what I am doing as Batshit Insane Drunk Ashton steps into the limelight and sober, very aware of his surroundings Ashton is kicked out of the driver's seat.
7:08 AM: I wake up in my room. Somehow I made it back here. Unfortunately the carnival seems to be in town and have converted my room into one of their rides. The spinning is uncontrollable. Somewhere in the distance I hear an IM being sent to me on my computer. I scream at my computer, "Shut the fuck up, I'm too dizzy to talk to you." The computer responds by making another IM noise.
7:10 AM: The phone rings. I reach out and try to find it. However, since the phone is nowhere near my bed, I obviously cannot reach it. Fuck it, I think, let the answering machine take care of it.
7:11 AM: The phone stops ringing.
7:12 AM: I remember I have no answering machine.
7:13 AM: My COMPUTER starts ringing. I throw my pillow at my desk, and miss my computer. I do, however, knock over the Saber figure sitting beside it. "That's what you get," I sneer, "For being in such a fucking suck ass anime."
7:14 AM: I go back to sleep.
4:10 PM: I wake up. My class started 10 minutes ago. Fuck. I halfheartedly get up, throw on some clothes, and leave.
4:13 PM: I am greeted by my ex girlfriend, who I have not seen in three months. "Still drunk?" She asks. I grunt in response.
4:15 PM: I realize she was not at the party. Who told her I was drunk? I deem this point unimportant and go back to more important things.
4:20 PM: I arrive at the class I am slated to teach. My teaching assistant tells me that I shouldn't arrive to class drunk. I don't get the joke until three hours later.
6:10 PM: My class is over and as I am heading out the door, I bump into the Vice Dean of my department. I greet her, and we chat about the class I'm teaching, etc. As I am about to leave, she parts with "So, you're over your hangover, I presume?" What the fuck.
Posted by: WhiteKnight Apr 21 2007, 04:45 PM
Reading this made my day and killed my lungs. Another story like this, I'll be seeing you in an afterlife.
Posted by: P.P.A. Apr 21 2007, 04:58 PM
You're teacher? >_>
Posted by: Rhiannon Apr 21 2007, 04:59 PM
A teacher, PPA. A teacher.
Posted by: Sauce XIV Apr 21 2007, 05:03 PM
Full of win. Your drunken stupors are always so funny.
Posted by: Raijinili Apr 24 2007, 01:48 AM
4/10.
Posted by: fensti Apr 25 2007, 02:56 AM
Nice.
Pity I'm never gonna drink. >_>
Posted by: chrishawke Apr 25 2007, 04:52 AM
I had a friend who encouraged me to drink. I could drink wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted, but if he ever caught me smoking, my ass is his.
Posted by: aerozero Apr 25 2007, 05:19 AM
I wonder what a class would be like with Ash teaching it...
Posted by: Chaos Seraph Apr 25 2007, 05:22 AM
Nobel Prize worthy.
Posted by: FlameSpark Apr 25 2007, 07:54 AM
I second that Nobel Prize request!
Posted by: lilcases May 5 2007, 01:53 AM
That made my day.
Posted by: Leyviur May 5 2007, 12:33 PM
UPDATE:
My drunken stupor has had unforeseen consequences. I recieved a call from a female friend recently asking me why the hell I haven't called her in two weeks.
Me: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Evidently when I was drunk out of my skull I got a bit overly friendly with said female friend kissed her, then asked her to be my girlfriend. Apparently she agreed and I have been going two weeks thinking I was single when I really wasn't.
:(
Posted by: WhiteKnight May 5 2007, 01:41 PM
Oh Ash, do you EVER cease to amuse us?
By the way, that kinda sucks. I just wanna have a single, sex-abstained life.
Posted by: Leyviur May 5 2007, 01:53 PM
You don't want sex?
What kind of man are you?
Posted by: SyphonVectorman May 5 2007, 02:09 PM
I completely LOL'd after the reading the first post, what did she do after?
Posted by: WhiteKnight May 5 2007, 03:05 PM
You don't want sex?
What kind of man are you?
The kind that hates kids.
and condoms are not perfect. Hell, NOTHING is perfect.
Posted by: Leyviur May 5 2007, 03:55 PM
Birth Control Pills AND Condoms.
It's not difficult, you know.
Posted by: WhiteKnight May 5 2007, 04:00 PM
:(
you don't pick this up living in the ghetto.
Bleh, it gets better with age, my teacher(and Carlos Menica) says.
somebody shoot me.
Posted by: Leyviur May 5 2007, 04:25 PM
Fuck Carlos Menstealia.
Posted by: aerozero May 5 2007, 05:03 PM
Wow, just wow, you became a legend, got a girlfriend and went on with life for two weeks without knowing about it. This is Oscar worthy movie material right here.
Posted by: WhiteKnight May 5 2007, 06:00 PM
Aerozero, that is the best idea I've ever heard. Copyright it. NOW.
Posted by: P.P.A. May 5 2007, 08:55 PM
Actually I don't want to have sex either (or that's at least what I think at the moment). I don't know if I really want children, and using pills, condoms and the likes seems kinda wrong to me.
And I'd immediately sign a petition for making this into a film. >.>
Posted by: aerozero May 5 2007, 10:02 PM
Looking at Ash's first post again, I can see a 24 (the show) like short film of Ash's day being made.
Posted by: Lord Rasler May 5 2007, 11:12 PM
Ash, your drunk adventures have put a light on the crappy day I had^_^ This is great shit, I laughed so fucking hard.
I'm am curious about one thing: Why don't people want kids? I love kids, and look foward to the day when I have kids of my own. Sure, they aren't Saints most of the time, but the end result allways makes up for that.
Well, i guess some people can't handle that responsability, which would cause some to not want kids.
Posted by: WhiteKnight May 6 2007, 05:38 AM
Rasler, you hit the mark exactly. Plus, I don't like to care for anyone besides my self. Or my infertile lover.
Posted by: Dr Sturm May 6 2007, 05:43 AM
You're fourteen. You're way to fucking young to be having lovers.
Posted by: aerozero May 6 2007, 06:51 AM
That'll change as you mature
Posted by: Lord Rasler May 8 2007, 11:59 PM
Agreed>_>
Posted by: Sauce XIV May 9 2007, 01:52 AM
Men who don't want sex are amoeba-men. Or asexual men. Or something of the sorts.
Posted by: Chaos Seraph May 9 2007, 01:59 AM
I doubt the term "men" really applies to that many people in this board.
Posted by: Lord Rasler May 10 2007, 11:00 PM
I doubt the term "men" really applies to that many people in this board.
Is that so? Are you one of the few then?
Posted by: Chaos Seraph May 10 2007, 11:26 PM
Obviously not.
Most males here, including myself, probably fit more into the angsty geeky teen category as opposed to man.
But I has Manowar, and it is manly. No beards yet though.
Posted by: Lord Rasler May 10 2007, 11:30 PM
Obviously not.
Well ok>_>
I was kinda being a smart ass when I asked that.
Posted by: Swifty-chan May 11 2007, 06:46 AM
UPDATE:
My drunken stupor has had unforeseen consequences. I recieved a call from a female friend recently asking me why the hell I haven't called her in two weeks.
Me: "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Evidently when I was drunk out of my skull I got a bit overly friendly with said female friend kissed her, then asked her to be my girlfriend. Apparently she agreed and I have been going two weeks thinking I was single when I really wasn't.
:(
Wahahahahaha!! This post totally killed me! XD
Sounds like you're having fun. X3
Posted by: Tyros Arcainix Sep 30 2007, 05:13 AM
Ash. You. Are. Fucking. Amazing.
<3
xD Best drunk story eva.
Posted by: Chaos Seraph Sep 30 2007, 08:44 AM
Sticky thread necromancy.
Posted by: P.P.A. Sep 13 2008, 03:06 PM
Session Start (Lacrima Castle:#lcn): Fri Apr 20 20:32:55 2007
[20:32] *** Initial topic: Feral is at fault for the impending death of LCN.
[20:32] *** #lcn: PPA WhiteKnight @Ashton
[20:33] *** #lcn was created on Thu May 18 01:49:32 2006.
[20:33] PPA: Hello.
[20:33] Ashton: youuu are ewhooo
[20:33] *** You are now known as ewhooo.
[20:47] WhiteKnight: who?
[20:48] WhiteKnight: Ash, you feel okay?
[20:48] Ashton: no
[20:48] Ashton: my room
[20:48] Ashton: it keeps spinning
[20:48] Ashton: like
[20:48] Ashton: a carnival ride
[20:49] WhiteKnight: ....get off your drugs/medicine, or go to sleep if you don't use anything.
[20:50] Ashton: im not on drugs you stupid faggot
[20:50] WhiteKnight: ;_;
[20:50] WhiteKnight: I'm a cheeky little ass.
[20:50] WhiteKnight: EW!
[20:50] WhiteKnight: That sounded so much cleener in my head....
[20:51] * WhiteKnight suicide
[21:05] ewhooo: brb Trillian reset
Session Close (): Fri Apr 20 21:05:31 2007
Posted by: Enzd Sep 13 2008, 06:33 PM
So, why didn't you post that the day it happened, PPA?
Posted by: P.P.A. Sep 13 2008, 08:51 PM
I'm actually surprised I didn't. Or it was deleted, I don't remember.