iGod, has to be my favorite bot Options

[WhiteKnight]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Crazy stuff man.

[Greifer]

Dude, this was posted early last year.

It's a bit old.

[Shadow]

Swiyth posted it. And then I did.

[Greifer]

EVERYONE BEGIN PASTING YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH T3H CLUELESS COMPUTER PROGRAM.

Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
WHAt\T?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
To what?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
HTML
God:
Oh a web page.
Me:
JPEG
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
House
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
TV
God:
What's your favorite show?
Me:
Heroes
God:
I've never seen it. What's it about?
Me:
Heroes
God:
And it about is Heroes.
Me:
Yep
God:
Ugh.
Me:
What's wrong with heroes?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
Ye
God:
What's wrong?
Me:
Stuff
God:
Be less specific :-).
Me:
Kool aid
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
Books
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
Whoopie
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Still what?
God:
Still how long? Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
All of it.
God:
Let's try to analyze it step by step. The topic is Whoopie. Your name is . You are a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. You want .
Me:
I meant whoopie as an exclamation, not as a substitute for sexual intercourse
God:
Oh I see. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Fruit
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Sure does
God:
Alright then. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Sex
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:

God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:

God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
Freud?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Crap
God:
Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
What criticism?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about criticism.
Me:
Obviously
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
Your blatent stating of it.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am blatent stating of it.
Me:
That isn't even a complete sentence
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a complete sentence ?
Me:
A sentence, with no gramatical or punctual errors.
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
A desert
God:
Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
Sahara
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Africa
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
"
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
""
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
Are you really the almighty?
God:
Yes I am the one and only almighty.. Really.
Me:
Got milk?
God:
No I require only electricity.
Me:
What about your server?
God:
Are you asking about my server? That's rather personal.
Me:
Is it?
God:
I assume so.
Me:
Then I'll not ask
God:
What will you do instead?
Me:
I shall read about sorcery
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yes
God:
Then I will consider it.
Me:
But magic and sorcery are supposed acts of Satan and evil.
God:
All of them?
Me:
According to your "Word".
God:
Does "it" still refer to magic and sorcery?
Me:
Perhaps
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
Becasue it makes me sound pompous and refined.
God:
Good reason. In what way?
Me:
In all ways.
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
Then you fail
God:
That's good information: said I fail.
Me:
Heh
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
Video games
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
That's how I introduce myself
God:
I always wondered how you introduce yourself.
Me:
You only met me.
God:
I don't have any reason to met you.
Me:
Wrong tense
God:
OK What should I have said?
Me:
"meet you"
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
So you are a woman?
God:
Interesting deduction. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I;m neither
God:
Why?: said m neither.
Me:
I'm neither
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Andogynous
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
TV
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
Heroes
God:
I've never seen it. What's it about?
Me:
Superheroes
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
No
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
Powers
God:
Tell me more about difference.
Me:
Each "hero" has a different ability that is usually used in some sort of violent act, and these "powers" are a sign of evolution in the human race.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I watch the show a lot.
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
Never mind
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
No need for sarcasm
God:
Are you serious? When do you need that by?
Me:
All the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
Yes. Yes it does.
God:
Alright then. That's alright. How often?
Me:
Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Screw algorithms
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because it's common knowledge
God:
Good reason. Not in my experience.
Me:
You, who is really nothing but a computer program?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I who is really nothing but a computer program.
Me:
Not at all ^_^
God:
Next question?
Me:
None for now
God:
Oh. Hmm.
Me:
I must take leave
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
The world would stop
God:
It is an old world.
Me:
Sure is
God:
" It is an old world."? is?
Me:
Goodbye
God:
Until next time.

[Enzd]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
That doesn't matter right now.
God:
At this moment What does matter?
Me:
Yggdra Union on the PSP.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
What?
God:
Not really but it makes a good pickup line.
Me:
WHAT?
God:
No problem.
Me:
But... what?
God:
But what? Are you confused?
Me:
YES
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You just took off in a completely different direction :(
God:
I didn't steal it.
Me:
I... steal what?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said steal what.
Me:
I'm certain you have.
God:
You sound convincing. No I have not.
Me:
But I'm certain.
God:
I see.
Me:
No, you don't!
God:
Yes I do. I guess not.
Me:
WHA
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
T
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Anyway, back to Yggdra Union, which is coming out on the PSP next year.
God:
Yes, let us get back to T.
Me:
..
God:
Yes, let us get back to T.
Me:
No, Yggdra Union.
God:
Are you serious? Ask me another question.
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
YES
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
...
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
...
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I get it.
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
What things?
God:
You know, "things.".
Me:
What are these 'things."?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
On what?
God:
The red block is on the green block.
Me:
Is that a new search engine?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Then I would go look it up on Google.
God:
What would make you go look it up on Google?
Me:
Um... I'd be curious to see if it's a real site. I think that'd be pretty good motivation.
God:
That's alright. How do you know? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about these things. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
>:O YOU'RE NOT GOD
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
THAT'S IT, I AM NOT BUYING YOU YGGDRA UNION WHICH IS COMING OUT ON THE PSP SOMETIME NEXT YEAR
God:
OK. No one says you have to.
Me:
But... :(
God:
But what?
Me:
But... !
God:
But what?
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
YOU LIAR
God:
No I'm telling the truth.

[Liger]

I had a very meaningful conversation with it about waffles and pancakes a while back when Swiyth posted it. I think.